Wednesday, February 1, 2012

What are your thoughts on this poem and it's subject matter????

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Dependable fascism

Responsible corporatism

Soaking up ether and jism



Scholar up on a ladder

Replacing bulbs

With fermented oranges



Finds gold in a moist cave

Leaves it behind

It'll slow the search of his sisters



Geraniums pinned to his ears

A bible on his head

A dictionary in his pants



Just a pawn in a game

Of gestapo networks

And snickering widowers



His blue fingertips

Left prints behind

A frazzled, passionless crime



His lips are locking

To tongues of the dead

So experienced



Facelessly he hunts me

Examining my future

Reminding me of my past



Picking fights in the night

Shipping useless cargo

To forgotten and decimated lands



He looks on his page

Sees my sentiments

Severs his hand



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What are your thoughts on this poem and it's subject matter????
sounds like bush to me
Reply:Ah yes now that I've seen it I can really say we write in totally different styles XD



It's nice though, but I gotta nip to my dictionary on some few words which I'm not sure about the meaning :p



But don't degrade your vocab just because no one understands it. It means you've got a wide range of vocabulary and can apply it to your writing, never try to write with simplier words just for the sake of nomal people understand it :)



It's good, I've never seen something written in this style, perhaps I'm too used to my own poems XD
Reply:WHAT?
Reply:good strong words and image influencing and establishing words, but too choppy and all over the place.........





6.5/10
Reply:its good kinda :\

use less big words it make it seam chopy
Reply:crap
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