Dependable fascism
Responsible corporatism
Soaking up ether and jism
Scholar up on a ladder
Replacing bulbs
With fermented oranges
Finds gold in a moist cave
Leaves it behind
It'll slow the search of his sisters
Geraniums pinned to his ears
A bible on his head
A dictionary in his pants
Just a pawn in a game
Of gestapo networks
And snickering widowers
His blue fingertips
Left prints behind
A frazzled, passionless crime
His lips are locking
To tongues of the dead
So experienced
Facelessly he hunts me
Examining my future
Reminding me of my past
Picking fights in the night
Shipping useless cargo
To forgotten and decimated lands
He looks on his page
Sees my sentiments
Severs his hand
......, ...... ........ .. ........... ... .. .... .. , (... .. .. ...... ... ..... .. ........)
What are your thoughts on this poem and it's subject matter????
sounds like bush to me
Reply:Ah yes now that I've seen it I can really say we write in totally different styles XD
It's nice though, but I gotta nip to my dictionary on some few words which I'm not sure about the meaning :p
But don't degrade your vocab just because no one understands it. It means you've got a wide range of vocabulary and can apply it to your writing, never try to write with simplier words just for the sake of nomal people understand it :)
It's good, I've never seen something written in this style, perhaps I'm too used to my own poems XD
Reply:WHAT?
Reply:good strong words and image influencing and establishing words, but too choppy and all over the place.........
6.5/10
Reply:its good kinda :\
use less big words it make it seam chopy
Reply:crap
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